Anger Response Styles
Purpose
This exercise increases the awareness that we have choices in how we respond when we are angry. We all tend to have a dominant response style when we are angry, and we want to increase our ability to make a choice in how we respond. It also introduces assertiveness.
Materials

Procedure
- I draw the empty table on the board and list the 4 response styles on the top of the columns.
- I then fill in the table in a brainstorming style. (Students can call out their thoughts and I write them in the column.)
- First I go across the board, asking
- "What behavior do you see when someone responds aggressively"
- "What behavior do you see when someone responds passively"
- "What behavior do you see when someone responds passive/agressive"
- "What behavior do you see when someone responds assertively"
- Likewise, I ask What is good about each response style and what is bad about each style, filling in the chart.
- I ask them about the boundaries in each case. (When I am aggressive, I protect myself but at the expense of hurting others. When I am passive, I let others hurt me. When I am passive/agressive, everyone loses. When I am assertive, we set boundaries that respect everyone.)
- I then ask "When might you choose to use each style?" (When might it be good to act aggressively, passively, passive/agressively, assertively?)
I talk about assertiveness and how it creates a win/win; and that it sets good boundaries.
I conclude making the point that we have choices and we need to make a decision on how we respond when we get angry so we can effect the outcome that serves us best.
page revision: 13, last edited: 18 Aug 2009 18:49