Assertiveness Handout
Basic Human Rights
Assertiveness means all people have basic human rights including:
- I have the right to say "No" without feeling guilty.
- I have the right not to understand.
- I have the right to make mistakes.
- I have a right to express my own opinions and feelings including anger.
- I have the right to be listened to and taken seriously
- I have the right to have my needs met.
- I have the right to contribute.
- I have the right to dignity.
- I have the right to make my own decisions.
- I have the right to consideration from others.
- I have the right to be treated as a capable adult and not patronized
Basic Human Responsibilities
- I am responsible for treating others fairly, honestly and with respect for their dignity.
- I am responsible for my own actions and their consequences.
- I am responsible for upholding the rights of others whenever I can.
- I am responsible for my own decisions.
- I accept responsibility for my own life. What happens to me is generally as a result of my own decisions
Assertive statements
Simple assertion
A simple statement that gives information, or stands up for the speakers rights.
I can’t hear you.
- Your car is blocking mine.
Considerate Assertion
A statement that includes acknowledgement and concern for the other, and assertion of my own wants.
- I can see you are busy. I need your help.
- I know you have no microphone. I want to hear what you are saying.
Response-invited assertion
A statement of what I want and a request for your response.
- I’d like to leave now. Would that be ok for you?
- I think we need more time to decide this. What is your opinion?
Negative feeling assertion - (I message)
- I feel frustrated when you say you’ll be home for dinner and then are late because I’ve worked hard to make a nice meal. I prefer you come home on time when the say you will.
Inconsistency assertion - A statement that expresses an inconsistency and asks for clarification
- When we talked last week, you said you would send those papers. I haven’t received them, and I’d like to know what happened.
Situations
- Your relative promises to put some money in your account for canteen. It has been some time, and it hasn’t happened. You talk to them on the phone and say:
- Your brother says he will come visit you on Friday. Visiting hours come and go, and he doesn’t show up. You call him and say:
- Your cellmate has an annoying habit of leaving his stuff all over the cell. You talk to him and say:
- You arrange to phone your girl-friend at a particular time. You call and she doesn't anwer the phone. You begin to worry about where she is, and what she is doing. You finally reach her and you say:
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Feb 2010 17:58